What Everyone Was Thinking (TMI Movie)
by peggylove
Summary: Basically the movie in a way that depicts what everyone who had read the books was thinking while watching the movie based on the book, based on the movie :) Have I confused anyone yet? Rated T mostly cause I'm just paranoid now, so yeah... Just read and you"ll understand :) where's my manners? Please read and understand :)
1. Chapter 1: The piano-portal scene

**So this might be a bit weird... I'm a huge fan of The Mortal Instruments and I, for one, was disappointed in the movie. So, as I was watching, I couldn't stop my sarcastic thoughts that seemed to just pop up. So I decided to write them all down. Yay or nay? Let me know!**

**Oh, btw, none of the characters are mine... all Cassie Clares'! :)**

**...**

I can hear the sounds of a beautiful tune, played on a piano drifting through the halls of the institute. I feel the urge to investigate.

I walk into a large room that looks really weird with some sort of gigantic, cheap-looking golden door in the middle of it. Not curious about it at all, I walk past to where Jace is playing the piano, in the same room. "It's beautiful." I say, mostly in an attempt to scare him.

He stops playing after having an unnecessary spass out and turns to looks at me. He then starts dribbling on about how different pitches affect demons. "Whoa, whoa, wait," I say, "Do I need to know this? Like, I mean, will it ever help me in the future?"

"W-well maybe," he splutters, "I suppose not. I'm just trying to be a know-it-all. Sorry."

I nod in understanding. I feel his pain. This must be love.

So we talk about a whole heap of completely unnecessary stuff for a little longer, before the huge golden doors suddenly spark my curiosity. Jace gets up and explain.

"It's a portal." _Blah blah blah… _I mostly zone out until he started moving things and there are loud sounds, so I turn my attention back to him. The huge golden doors swing open to reveal a swirly, blue, typical _portal _texture. _They couldn't think of a classier way to present a portal? Maybe in a way where there was some sort of epic scene with the bad guy and have a mysterious mirror that reflects where you're thinking of or something? And then have the bad guy make an escape through the portal all badass-like and have the mirror dramatically shatter? I feel like that was done somewhere else though… hmm…_

I snap back to reality and realise that Jace is still explaining or something. "So," I say, interrupting him, "Why do you have a portal in the middle of your institute again? Doesn't that seem a little silly? I mean, the bad guys could come straight through it and _BAM! _You're safe place is suddenly not so safe."

"Uhh…" Jace looks lost, "Well, the Los Angeles institute got one, so why couldn't we have one?"

I shrugged.

"Wait here." Jace said suddenly.

I obeyed, even though that was totally against my character. Jace went up to the portal and put his hand through. The next thing I knew, his hand appeared out of thin air and started stroking my hair. I resisted the urge to scream. _Whoa! Creepy much? _

**And that's what I got so far... Please don't hate me. I know, I'm weird, and I don't care.**


	2. Chapter 2: Valentine and Hodge

******Oh and btw guys, thanks for the reviews :) I'll try and take on any feedback you guys give me. And if I offend anyone just let me know and I can stop writing about this particular topic :) And I'm not trying to pay out the actors and actresses, just how the movie contradicted the book, and the personalities of the characters from the book (i.e. Jace loving himself)**

**SPOILER ALERT... if you haven't read the books or seen the movie... just saying... kinda... I guess :)**

**...**

"He'll be back," Hodge reassures the evil man (with hair feathers?) in front of him.

"How can you be so sure?" Valentine asks.

"Because there is one thing that he cares about more than himself?"

Valentine scoffs. "Yeah right."

"No!" Hodge exclaims, "I know it is hard to believe, but the girl means a lot to him. I think their stubborn personalities drew them to each other. They're in love."

"What?" Valentine gapes at his servant, "Jace? With Clary? _My _Clary? No way."

"I know right," Hodge gossips excitedly, "Who would've thought?"

Valentine shakes his head. "Anyways, so you think he'll come back for her?"

"Yes."

"Hm."

"Hm." Hodge sighs. "Wait!" he suddenly exclaims, "I've got it! Tell them that they're brother and sister. It will break their hearts."

They ponder this for a moment. "Not bad," Valentine admits. "_Buuut, _don't you think that us saying that right now _kinda _gives away the plot a little bit? I mean, the people who had to read the books waited for two whole books to know what happens. Now there'll be no suspense!"

Hodge shrugged. "Bit late now, don't you think?"

"Hm," Valentine said, "Very well! We shall break their hearts! God, how I love being evil."

The two cackled evilly together, paused to giggle like schoolgirls, and then resumed cackling evilly.

...

**So how is it so far? Should write more? :P**


	3. Chapter 3: Hotel Dumort

**So, this chapter pretty much uses the same concept as the movie for the most part, but just with a few jokes and horrible puns thrown in, and of course some things left out or skipped over. Hey, I'm not perfect. Quit judging.**

**And just to clear anything up, this isn't meant to be in any particular order or follow any specific story. Just purely snippets to hopefully put a smile on someone's face and/ or make them laugh. Although you'd be pretty creepy if you laughed without smiling... Not judging just saying! If on the off chance that you do, I apologize. **

**Anyways, enjoy! :) **

**...**

"Simon!" I scream.

I look on in terror at my lifelong best friend, who seems to be unconscious, entangled in chains, suspended high above the ground. I have to get him down! I move to retrieve some wooden boards to place over the gap that Simon hangs over so I can get closer to him. I wisely kick of my stupidly tall high-heeled boots and throw a glare at Izzy, who was the reason for me wearing them in the first place.

Picking up on my look, she shrugs and says, "What? I have a rule: nothing under seven inches!"

I roll my eyes and go back to helping Simon. Eventually the others decide to help, and we get Simon down, who gasps for breath. I call his name frantically, trying to make sure he's ok. When he starts to show appropriate responses, I began to relax.

There was a sudden echo of growling from the hallway of which we came. "We have to go!" Jace shouts, and the group starts running.

With the vampires hot on our heels, we come into a large room that looks as though it was once used for dinning or dinner parties. Confused and scared, I clutch onto Simon. The group decides that this is a good as a place as any to fight, so we all turn back to face our chasers. The tension rises, and rises, and rises, and then, not so suddenly, the vampires crash into the room.

I immediately lose my resolve to fight with the others and retreat, dragging Simon back with me. As the others slash and hack at our enemies bravely, I proceed to crawl heroically under the table. I continue to crawl, just for the sake of moving forward, until an arm reaches under the table and tries to grab me. I scream and bash the vampire's head in with the nearest thing I could find, which happened to be a silver plate. The vampire hissed and retreated. _Yep, that's right, _I think to myself smugly, _You can't handle my plate!_

Suddenly, a blade slides down in front of me, inches from my face, with super speed. Someone obviously wasn't too fond of the table I was taking refuge under. I scream, and the next thing I know, Jace's face pops down from on top of the table.

"What did this poor table ever do to you?" I scream, making the joke mostly out of nerves or fear, I think.

He smiled charmingly. "Tables come in a close second to ducks, on the list of innocent things that I hate."

"Is now really the time to be discussing the things you don't like?" Izzy says as she whirls past, ensnaring another vampire with her whip. She then suddenly laughs, pausing to look at the guy who she had caught in her whip. "Hey, look guys, he's literally whipped." She giggles at her own joke and continues to eliminate vampires.

"There's too many of them!" Alec says as we gather together, the vampires slowly encircling us, "We have to get out of here now!" We all nod in agreement and the shadowhunters launch into battle once more, carving a path for us to escape. To block any pursuing vampires, Izzy whips down a giant chandelier from the ceiling, making intense crashing sounds and making for a super awesome escape, however cheesy it may have been.

At last, the five of us manage to escape onto the roof, where the sun is just coming up. We all pause to catch our breaths after the intense battle we just went through, all of us panting.

"Well," I declare in between wheezing breaths, "That was pretty epic."

"Yeah," Jace replies, looking as though he's contemplating something. At last, he finishes, "I feel like it would be better if we had some dubstep while we were fighting."

**...**

**So guys, it would mean the world to me if you left me a review to mull over. I try to be open to criticism... but nothing nasty, cause that's just mean... but feel free to tell me if there's things I should change or adjust and if you have a problem with these stories, let me know (PM or review) and I can change things. Of course this is just a fun thing for me to write so I'm not putting much thought into perfecting my witting, but anything to help is still appreciated! Hope you like it so far :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Exploding portal!

**So it seems apparent that some people were upset that left out the scene where Clary lies on top of Jace for a good half an hour... well, its only a few seconds but still... and I am, in fact, disappointed in myself that it somehow evaded my thought. I deserve no forgiveness for this! Well, maybe that's a bit harsh... but anyhow, I decided to give it its own mini chapter, cause its just that hilarious. It was actually really hard to try and make it funnier than it already was, but I tried. So since this chapter is pretty short anyways, I've tagged it on the end here. **

**Also, I'm trying to update this one everyday since it's only short chapters and it's holidays and I don't really have anything better to do with my time, but my creative juices may not be so consistent as my mouth so don't expect too much from me. Hope that's ok with everyone :3**

**ENJOY! :D**

...

"You did it Clary." Jace pulled me into a hug.

Yes, I know, I'm badass, everyone knows it. Well, all I really did was kicked Valentine into a portal then freeze it with my sudden gain of wisdom and super powers! Aka, I shoved my stele into the portal. Now that I think about it, it doesn't really make a lot of sense. Hmm… No matter. The day is saved. What difference does it make to know how it happened?

Something cold landed on my head. _Snow? _I thought as I looked up. Yep, it was snowing. How, you ask? In an enclosed room? Well I exploded an icy portal. Duh. And no, it didn't explode into deadly icy shards that should have impaled me; it obviously exploded into never-ending snow. It is the only explanation.

Either way, it was still pretty awesome.

I turn, and see my mother, who seemed to still be trapped in the coma that she had put herself under. I fall to my knees next to her. "I'm so sorry mum," I say, tearing up, "It's all my fault." So I launch into my heart-felt speech, even though it's kinda pointless… but hey! It tends to stir up da feels.

"Uh, Clary?" Jace says, who is kneeling beside me, "You know that she can't hear you, right?"

In that moment, her finger twitched. My eyes widened. "What was that?" I say to Jace, packing as much attitude into my words as possible, "_She can't hear you? _Am I correct?" I proceed to fulfill my little in-your-face dance, just because it was a pretty awesome achievement to show superiority over someone like Jace.

* * *

I don't know how it happened, but it happened and I wasn't complaining.

Jace's golden eyes bored into mine, and I stared back intently into his. I seemed to become dizzy and lost in the depths of them. _Oh wait, _I thought, _that probably just has something to do with me surviving an intense battle and thus using all of my energy._ But i'd like to believe that I was just getting lost in his eyes. Less complication.

Seconds seemed to tick by, then minutes, then hours... I was completely and utterly under his spell. Well, sh*t.

Suddenly, our moment was ruined, by Alec, of all the people. "Get in there, Jace!" he cat-called.

The trance was broken, and I flailed awkwardly, trying to get to my feet. I ended up pushing against his chest with the force of my whole body, making him wheeze for breath.

"'Bout time!" Izzy said as we both struggled to our feet, "You two are hopeless!"

"Oh. My. Gosh." Simon squeals like a fangirl, "I ship you two so much."

...

**So I hope that wasn't too disappointing for anyone! Once again, I apologize for leaving that part out in the last chapter! I don't know what came over me! I would like to say that Sebastian is somehow controlling my mind through a demonic bond, but alas that is not the case. My life isn't that exciting.**

**So let me know what you think! I hope I'm making someone smile with my story! After all, that's pretty much my life goal at this point in time. So please let me know if I can improve it and I'll wholeheartedly take your advice to make the story better! Unless your advice is just mean... I don't do well with mean... But I'm sure I won't get any of that! Cause you're all just too lovely... I hope :3 **


	5. Chapter 5: Pandemonium

**Ok, so this was one of the scenes that I actually liked quite a bit in the movie (Well, at least where Jace and Alec and Izzy come into it of course. As soon as I saw them I knew that things were gunna get pretty interesting pretty quickly... and who can deny that a screen with Jamie Campbell Bower and Kevin Zegers on it is an improvement no matter what movie it is), so yeah, I had a bit of difficulty making fun of this one. I hope it's ok :)**

**And it may sound like I'm picking on the acting, but I'm honestly not. I think their acting was beautiful... just not the story (compared to the book) :)**

**...**

"Let's go in here." I said casually as we stroll past a club, "I wanna find out what that symbol means." I take out my hair and give it a bit of a shake. _Yep, now __I'm irresistible. _I go up to the bouncer. "What does that symbol mean?" I ask.

"What symbol?" The bouncer asks.

"Yeah," Simon butts in, "What symbol?"

_Butt out Simon! _

The bouncer was obviously not impressed and was about to tell us to beat it, when some random leans down and whispers something to him. The bouncer let us in. I give Simon a look. _Yep, the hair is totally what did it. I'm awesome. _

Simon and I enter the club. Neon lights flash and the loud techno music blasts relentlessly at my ears. I sway my body, trying to fit in with all the gothic ravers, even though I was in clothes that screamed _ordinary person! Right here! Step up, step up! See the ordinary person! _Simon whinged about how we didn't fit in. _Pfftt, _I thought, _we don't stick out at all! _(note the sarcasm).

"Well, do you want a drink?" Simon shouts over the music.

"Yeah!" I say, moving my body around and messing up my hair cause it seemed like that was what everyone else was doing.

Moments after Simon leaves, my eyes meet those of the boy who let us in earlier. I play with my hair a little more… cause the hair is what gets the boys… obviously. But alas, his eyes wandered to another, taller, prettier girl in a white dress. Rude much?

I watch as the two of them meet and I watch from a distance, not being creepy or stalker-ish at all. I watch as the girl seduces him, and then see a whip uncoil from her wrist. The boy seems to panic and back away, but another boy holds him in a headlock.

_What the…?_

Out of nowhere, a tall, blonde boys pops up, dramatically… um… stroking?... his sword. _Yesh, _I think, _It's not a freaking cat. Wait…. A sword?! _The boy looks longingly at his blade, so longingly, in fact, that I begin to wonder if there's some sort of relationship going on there or something. I get so wrapped up in this forming love story between the boy and the sword that it came as a shock when he performed a fancy whirl and stabbed the boy in the stomach. _Well that escalated quickly. _

I screamed. The three killers all spun around simultaneously to glare at me. _Oh, _I thought, _Sorry for overreacting to you just _killing _someone in the middle of the club! _

Simon appears by my side, but I don't pay attention. I'm too busy romantically locking eyes with a killer.

"Clary?" Simon says, shaking my shoulder, "Clary, what's wrong?"

_Oh my God, shut up Simon! Can't you see that I'm having a moment?_

**...**

**As always, feel free to leave a review or follow or fav my story! It makes me happy :) God, I'm sounding like a YouTuber or something :o but oh wells... **


	6. Chapter 6: Demon Dog

**Part 6 guys :D Hope you like it... I feel like I'm losing my touch with these stories... maybe its time to pack it in. Maybe just a couple more to exhaust my ideas and then finish this story up :)**

**Hope you guys have liked it so far, and enjoy this chapter :)**

**...**

The first thing I notice: My house is a pigsty. Second thing I notice: There's a dog standing in the middle of the living room. I pull together all of my strength and resolve to stop myself from squealing and running over to hug the dog. What? I think dogs are cute… deal with it. But, I manage to stop myself and think, _whoa, wait, why is there a dog in my house? Last time I checked, we didn't own a dog._

The next thing I know, the dog is chasing me through my house, practically nipping me up the butt. I manage to lead it into the bathroom, hide beside the door so it runs in after me and stealthily sneak out, closing the door, so the dog is trapped. _I'm such a ninja, _I think smugly. I stick my tongue out at the snarling dog and do a little happy dance. "That's right! Not so big and tough now, are you, puppy?"

I really wish I hadn't done that. The dog snarled again, its pitch becoming deeper and more menacing. Right before my eyes, the dogs' features began twisting and morphing, some of its fur and skin even cracking or peeling away. I was starting to think that maybe this wasn't just some random dog that happened to wonder in off the streets.

I backtracked immediately towards the kitchen, getting as far away from the room with the demonic dog as I possibly could. I found myself in the kitchen, just as I heard a sickening thump from where I had trapped the dog. None of the possibilities that popped into my mind were particularly pleasant. The worst of those possibilities was confirmed when I saw a large, deranged body slide across the floor in the room over.

Acting quickly, because I'm such a trained professional when it comes to demons (not), I gathered up all the explosive chemicals that I could find. I set a can of gas on top of the stove and flick the heat switches on. By this time, of course, the demon should have reached me, but I think he was captivated by my mothers' painting of a cat along the way or something.

Anyhow, the demon eventually reached the kitchen and I had mere seconds to duck out of the way before it crashed onto the stove, conveniently knocking over the bottle of flammable liquid that I had conveniently placed on the stove. This action conveniently made a convenient trail from the stove and gas, to the fridge where I had decided to take refuge for the time being. And luckily I had thought ahead to a situation such as this and brought my lighter with me. How convenient.

The demon shook the fridge, prying at the door to try and get to me. It's sticky… uh, demonic _something_… probed at my hair. "Not the hair!" I shrieked, "I spent half an hour on it this morning! Not. The. _HAIR!" _

Unleashing my furry, I ignited the lighter and set it to the convenient trail of flammable liquid. The demon stopped its relentless pounding at the fridge, as if it sensed something was majorly wrong. _Yeah, that's right, B****h,_ I think to myself, _you better be worried. _

Then everything exploded. I pushed myself back into the fridge as far as I could, going full-on Indiana Jones style. The sound of the blast left my ears ringing and my head buzzing. My vision blurred and I felt as though as was about to pass out. _Yeah, _I thought weakly to myself, _let's _not _do that again._

**...**

**So let me know what you think, as always :) Should I stop while I'm ahead, or keep going? Leave a review and tell me what you think. I won't be offended... probably. Thank you for all the kind words so far though... I expected nothing so I'm so grateful to those few people who took their own precious time to write me a review. Thanks guys :)**


	7. Chapter 7: BUBBLE!

**So this part was a bit of a joke between me and my friends when we watched the movie, so if you don't get it it's probably just because I did a crappy job at explaining our joke so don't worry! And if that's then case then sorry! D:**

**Hope this part is okay guys :) I'm running out of ideas though so if you would like me to write about any particular scene that you thought was funny let me know and I suppose I'll try and come up with something :)**

**Oh! And this part is in Jace's POV :D**

**...**

Valentine raised me off the ground. He held me from behind, a sword raised to my throat.

"How far do you want to take this?"

_Whoa, _I think, _Intimate much? _"To the end." I reply, ignoring how my dirty mind translated his deadly serious words.

I snap my mind back to the situation, where my life is on the line. I see the shimmering portal next to me, and I think back to the conversation I had with Clary a while back, about the portal. This, obviously, leads me to think about the incredibly romantic scene when I stroked her hair portal style… It so wasn't creepy at all. _Yep, _I compliment myself, _you're smooth, buddy. What a slayer. _

Back on track, once again. That's right, life at stake here. I use those thoughts to conjure up my next stroke of genius. I plunge my hand into the portal, and bring it back out with a handful of the actual portal itself. I fling the bubble across me, letting it float in front of Valentine's face, distracting him.

Although, I must admit, I didn't expect the results to be quite so amusing. Valentine's attention was completely shifted, and his eyes followed the bubble with wonder. His expression was that of a four year old chasing a butterfly across the backyard. I could have sworn I heard him mumble, "Bubble." With a tone of amazement.

Never underestimate the power of bubbles.

I wait until Valentine's face is lined up with my bubble and I punch, my hand teleporting to the bubble and hitting him square in the nose. _Yep, bubbles are officially awesome. The Clave should consider them as a new weapon. _

Getting serious, again, I leap up a small set of stairs and smash a glass case open to retrieve a sword. I couldn't help but think _HULK SMASH! _as the glass shattered. Hey, I am a teenage boy. What did you expect?

In moments, Valentine is upon me and our swords are clashing epically, the ringing of metal on metal echoing throughout the library. We fight back and forth, until, alas, he corners me in front of the statue of the angel Raziel. He positions my neck in front of the angel's seriously stupidly positioned stone sword.

"Now you shall die by Raziel's sword." Valentine says in his best batman voice. _Yesh, doesn't he know the sword is fake? It's not that honorable. _

"Stop!" Clary yells. Both of us look at her, and see that she is by the portal, holding the cup in it. "Or I'll drop it!"

I let out a sigh of relief. "Take your time, Clary!" I yell, "I'm completely fine over here! You know, being about to get killed and all!"

"Yeah right!" Valentine calls back, "Knowing you and your little tricks, that's the fake cup. I'm not an idiot, sheash. I'm _supposed _to be an evil mastermind. What do you take me for?" He pauses, "But then again, I was distracted with a bubble, so I suppose I'll play along."

...

**So yeah... hope this chapter made sense :/ **

**So leave me a review or PM me anything you may want me to write and I'll try and do that :) But if not I suppose I'll just stop writing when my ideas all run out :(**


	8. Chapter 8: Madame Dorothea

**So here's chapter 8 :) A couple of days ago someone said I should do the part about Madame Dorothea going into the sunlight, so... drum roll pleas... Here it is! I kinda just winged this one and it gets a tad bit random, so don't say I didn't warn you :P**

**And just a tiny language warning in this one guys.**

**Oh, and it's in Simon's POV :)**

**Have fun reading! :3**

...

"Simon!" Clary's fist pounded against the window of Madame Dorothea's apartment, "Simon! It's not really her! She has the cup!"

I looked from Clary, to Madame Dorothea (who stood on the porch in front of me), and back to Clary again. I was a bit confused, to say the very least. I glanced down towards Madame Dorothea's waist, where a bulge protruded from her pocket. The tip of the mortal cup stuck out from the top of her apron. _Damn, _I thought dully, _you seriously suck at hiding things, woman! _

Clary continued banging on the window relentlessly. Dorothea pretended not to notice it. I mean, seriously? How dumb or deaf did she think I was? "She's a greater demon!" Clary warned.

"Huh?" I said, losing my cool, "G-greater demon?"

Clary nodded and Madame Dorothea smiled innocently back at me, like she was somehow still pulling off her charade. "Use the sunlight Simon!" Clary said, "Greater demons can't go into the sunlight!"

I deadpanned. I looked at Madame Dorothea, who was standing outside, in broad daylight, and then back at Clary. _Clary, you dipshit, _I thought to myself.

_Excuse me?_ Clary's voice echoed in my mind, making me jump. _Who are you calling a dipshit?_

_Clary? _I think incredulously, _I'm not even safe in my thoughts now? How are you doing this? _

_The rings, Simon. _She held up her hand through the window, showing a golden ring strapped around her finger. I raised my own hand I saw that I was wearing an identical one. _Whoa, wait, _I thought at her, _I thought we didn't get these rings until the fifth book?_

_Well, _she thinks at me, _they decided that they had already screwed this movie up enough to do whatever the heck they wanted, so they decided to give us the rings now. _

_Ohhh, _I think, _that makes sense. _

_Simon! Madame Dorothea? Greater demon? Ring any bells?_ Clary nags telepathically.

_Right. _Madame Dorothea had turned her attention to the door for reasons that were unknown to me, so I picked up a conveniently placed shovel while she was distracted. When she turned back around to face me, I got ready to be awesome for once, and swung my shovel at her head. Her neck bent at an awkward angle and she stood stunned for a moment.

_Yeah! Shovel power! _I think at first. But, then, her neck rights itself and Dorothea's face morphed and twisted until I was looking at demon in Madame Dorothea's clothing. It was pretty trippy.

Panicking, I charge at her. All because of my immense upper body strength and extreme muscles, I send her flying through the door. She falls and I try my best to keep her down. Somehow (I think with my other-worldly mundane powers) I keep her pinned down with difficulty.

Luckily, Jace manages to push aside the piano that had them trapped in her apartment, because he could obviously only do that when someone's life was in mortal danger, instead of breaking out and killing Madame Dorothea and getting the cup back probably much quicker and without risking someone's (mine specifically) life. But no, he just had to do things the dramatic way.

Anyways, I moved out of the way while Jace stabbed her in the chest. She started spasming and Clary swooped in like a girl who had to get around a cockroach or spider or something, and snatched the cup from Dorothea's hand before skipping away with a squeal. And _she _was the one with awesome, badass shadow hunter blood in her?

_I can hear you, _She says in my mind.

...

**Sooo... too random? Next I'll try and write about Magnus's party :) If there's anything else, let me know :D**


	9. Chapter 9: Magnus's Fabulous Party

**Chapter 9! Thanks for the reviews, as always :D So a few people wanted Magnus's party and this was the best I could do :/ I hope it's not dissapointing or anything... cause that's like my nightmare: to disapointed the few follwers that I have. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.**

**But then again if it is disapointing, I kinda dug my own grave by asking for suggestions but oh wells :3 **

**This one is Izzy's POV**

**ENJOY! Yes, I'm forcing you to like it now...**

**...**

"Well, well, well," Magnus says. The first thing I notice is that he's not wearing any pants. Classy as all hell. "I don't recall inviting any children of Nephilim. You know I'm not a fan of you guys… but I'll let you stay. Only because of the hot one."

I felt flattered. "Thank you." Jace and I say at the same time.

"What?" says the warlock, confused, "No, I meant him," he points to Alec with a smirk, "The one with the blue eyes."

I could have sworn that Alec smiled, but he averted his eyes quickly. I looked suspiciously between the two of them. Maybe, if Alec were gay, it would explain the rainbow unicorn boxers I found in the wash. I had thought they were Jace's, but it would make so much more sense if Alec were gay. I examined Magnus and my brother again. Oh yeah. My shipping senses were tingling.

"And because of Clary." Magnus said, snapping me away from my thoughts.

"Wait, how do you know her name again?" Simon asks.

Who in their right mind decided it was ok to bring the mundane to a warlock's magical party with vampires and faeries roaming around anyways? He could get himself into so much trouble.

Magnus whisks Clary away, Jace trailing after them like a lost little puppy. _My gosh, _I think to myself, _Could they hurry up and just get together already? _

Alec, Simon and I are left wandering amongst the magical creatures at the party. I lose Simon at one point, only to find him surrounded by vampires. He nodded at them politely, then raised a cup to his lips. The vampires had formed a loose ring around him, jeering and watching in anticipation as he drank. How did he not realise that they had done something to his drink? I mentally face palmed myself and rushed over to him. _Stupid mundanes! _ "Don't drink that!" I cried and knocked the glass out of his hand, even though he had already taken a good few gulps.

The vampire grabbed me and held me back. Simon looked drowsy to say the least. A few vampires grabbed him and began dragging him away. I called out his name, but it was pointless.

I finally thought, _Wait a minute, I'm a shadowhunter. Why am I letting vampires constrain me? _I lashed out at them and broke free. I couldn't see Simon anywhere, so I searched out Jace or Alec.

When I eventually found them, I filled them in on the situation quickly, but they barely seemed fazed. "Huh?" Jace says, "Why would they take the mundane? If they wanted a new sex toy, all they had to do was ask."

I rolled my eyes. "We have to go save him!"

"Hey," Alec says, his face drawn in boredom, "Calm down. It was the mundane's own fault for coming. And just think about it. This situation could have been a whole lot worse."

"How worse?" I say incredulously.

Jace shrugs. "He could have turned into a rat."

"Pfft," I scoff, "Yeah right. That doesn't happen. Not in the Shadow World."

...

**Hope it was ok :) As always, leave me a review to let me know if it wasn't... or if it was cause nice reviews are just as good :P Obviously... **

**But yeah, keep coming with what I should write next and I will try. Or if I'm just doing a crappy job you gotta let me know so I can do something about it! **

**Thanks for reading :3**


	10. Chapter 10: Greenhouse

**So here's chapter 10 :) Sorry that I haven't updated the past two days... I know, I know, I said I would update everyday and all that, but c'mon, I had things to do. Well... not really, I just had no internet for a couple of days. Ha, did I have you fooled for a moment? :P Pfft, who actually ****_does things _****these days. **

**Anyways, this is the Greenhouse scene that was so much better in the book. This scene in the movie was so cheesy it was actually cringe worthy in my opinion. **

**Soooo... with those wise words, enjoy :D**

**...**

"You're special Clary." Jace says to me softly.

I look at him. "Did you just call me a retard?"

"Huh?" he looks confused.

I wave my hand at him. "Don't worry about it."

"I will never understand mundane humour." He sighs.

I roll my eyes. "So, what were you saying?"

He clears his throat and regains his composure. "I think you're very _amazing_, Clary."

I smile at him. "Thanks, buddy." I punch his chest lightly.

He looks as though I just mortally wounded him. "Um, buddy? Does that mean that you only think of me as a friend?"

I think for a moment. "I believe the term you are looking for is _friend-zoned. _And that's more of a Simon thing. I think of you as more of a brother. A really sexy brother."

"What?" he chokes, "A _brother?"_

I shrug. "Is it that surprising? I wouldn't be shocked if some random popped up and was like, '_Hey guys! You're related!' _Just saying."

Jace swallows. I can tell that he's lost all of his nerve completely. "Well, I think we should go now."

I nod, and follow him down the stairs that we were perched on. On my way down I became captivated by my beautiful surroundings. The greenhouse truly was amazing and romantic. I almost felt bad about brother-zoning Jace.

I get so distracted that I miss a step and fall. In a desperation, I tried to reach out for Jace to catch me. But alas, he stepped away and I face planted onto the ground. As graceful as a butterfly… or in my case, a shadowhunter.

I scramble to my feet, my cheeks flaming. "What was that about?" I demand, "You could've caught me!"

Jace shrugged.

"It could've even been romantic. Like you could catch me and pull me into a kiss or something!" I say, exasperated.

Jace contemplates this. "Are you saying you would let me kiss you? Even if I'm like a brother?" he pouts at me and I can tell that he's on purposely being childish.

I think about this for a moment. "Yeah, I suppose. It's not every day you get a sexy, magical warrior dude wanting to kiss you, I guess."

Jace takes that as a green light and gracefully pulls me towards him. Our lips connect and I feel a rush of excitement. My chest fills with warmth and I smile into his mouth. Out of the blue, the flowers and exotic plants throughout the greenhouse light up and start floating. For a moment, I wonder if I took any drugs today. I didn't think so. Suddenly, slow pop music begins to fill the air around us. Then, as if things couldn't get any cheesier, water falls down on us. I pull away.

"What's this music?" I ask, confused. Like, I mean, we were having such a beautiful moment and then this music just swirls up out of nowhere? Huh? "And sprinklers? Really?"

Jace's cheeks flame a bright red and looks over my shoulder. "They aren't sprinklers."

I follow his gaze and strain my eyes to see a figure crouched behind a bush. "A-Alec?" I call out.

Yep. There he was. Alec. Crouched behind a bush. Grinning like a child who was causing mischief. Holding a portable stereo, which was blaring a soppy pop song. And in his other hand a hose. He was actually showering us in water.

"What the hell?" I demand.

Alec notices that I had notice him and noticed that he was in notably deep trouble. He threw the hose away, ditched the stereo and bolted.

I look at Jace, who shrugs and smiles sheepishly. _Shadowhunters, _I think, _can they get any weirder? _"How about we take this back inside? Get a bit of privacy."

I smile and let him lead me back into the institute. We skip down the hall like two school girls, giggling madly. We pause in front of a door and he takes my face between his palms and kisses me. Right in that moment, the door flings open and Simon's face appears between our romantic moment.

"_What," _He says, disbelieving, "Are you doing?"

I get such a fright that I break away from Jace and punch Simon square in the nose. He falls like a domino. I promise, it was purely out of instincts and reflexes.

Jace and I look down at his unconscious body for a few moments, before he turns and shrugs at me. "Well, shall we continue?" he asks innocently.

I shrug. "May as well."

We interlock in another passionate embrace, Simon's body lying at our feet. His head slowly comes back up and he slowly regains his consciousness. Not-so-subtly, Jace extends his leg and kicks him in the head, causing him to fall once again. "Mundanes," he mutters between kisses, "Do they not know when to stop interrupting?"

...

**As always, leave me a review :)**

**Someone said that they wanted me to do the piano scene... but I thought that was the first thing I did O.o To be honest I haven't watched the movie in ages so there's probably a second piano scene and my memory is just being terrible... so sorry about that :)**

**See ya next time :) which will probably be tomorrow...**


	11. Chapter 11: Simon the wannabe vampire

**Part 11. This one is pretty short and sweet. Sorry about that, but hey! At least its something, right? Someone said I should do this scene so... I did. I tried. I honestly did. **

**But yeah, as always. Hope it's ok :D If you have any other ideas leave me a review or PM. I'm relatively friendly... I think. So feel free to leave me a message if you want to talk :) Unless you're scared that I'll virtually bite. Because I reckon it's possible. Just saying... Proceed with caution.**

**...**

I sat at the end of Simon's bed, who was currently out of sorts. Who could blame him? He was just kidnapped and almost killed by vampires. _That's what you get for playing D&D, _I think, quite heartlessly, perhaps, but still…

Getting back to the point… so I sat there, my sketch book propped up on my lap, rubbing my pencil across the page with passion. Of course I was drawing Jace. Because, ya' know… who wouldn't draw Jace if they had my arty super powers? Yeah, that's right, I stumped you, didn't I?

"Hey," Simons said suddenly, making me jump. He was sitting upright in bed now, "How long was I out?"

I chuckled a little bit. "All day. I found your glasses." I pulled his adorkable glasses from my pocket and flung them towards him. He clumsily half-caught them and brought them up to his eyes, but moved them away again. I watched him, wondering if the vampires had given him brain damage or something. He continued to raise and lower the glasses.

"Hm," he finally said, "It seems that I don't need them anymore."

For some reason, I felt like this should be the cause of alarm, but I couldn't see in any way why. It's not like he was kidnapped and held prisoner last night by vampires, and now his life-long bad vision had miraculously been cured just because of sheer coincidence. I blamed the shadowhunters. I blamed them for everything these days. Why is Simon suddenly cured of bad vision? Shadowhunters. Why is my mum missing? Why was Jace so sexy? Shadowhunter. Seriously, all shadowhunters are sexy… but of cause me. How unfair. See, it made perfect sense. Shadowhunters are love, shadowhunters are life.

Anyways, I pull myself out of my thoughts and see Simon staring at me. "What are you drawing?"

I immediately feel awkward and close my book. "Nothing."

I get up and move to lay beside him. I start dabbing his face and arms with a cloth. Because, you know, yolo. "Boop!" I say in a high pitched voice as I tap the cloth to his nose.

He frowns. "What the-"

I stop listening to him as I notice two tiny marks on his necks. They looked like… oh yeah, I had seen enough Twilight to know that it was a vampire bite. I examine it with worry, but Simon doesn't seem to know of its existence so I leave it. It's not like it could produce any problems in the future or anything. It's just a vampire bite. What's the worst that could happen?

...

**So I hope this chapter wasn't short enough to be disappointing or anything. I'm sorry! I had limited creative juices. Couldn't really think of anything funny. I know, it's annoying, right? So yeah... see ya's next time... maybe not tomorrow cause school's back and I'm already drowning D: So yeah... as soon as I can :)**


	12. Chapter 12: Luke's Interrogation

**Sooo... this was updated a hell of a lot slower then usual, but I'm still pretty speedy, you gotta admit. But yeah, my laptop has been in repairs :( How have I survived you ask? I didn't. I'm now a zombie. It's like a dream come true :D**

**So as always I hope you enjoy :) I tried. I swear, it as like 60% effort. I know right, how do I do it? **

**Clary's POV :D**

**...**

"You know what's really amazing, is how much you actually look like a human."

Jace and I peer through a book case at the scene unfolding before us. Yes, I said _through _a book case. To look around the book case would be too mainstream. See, we're some pretty stealthy shadowhunters.

Luke is chained to a chair, and two men stand before him. One seems to just stand by silently, while the other is enjoying himself way too much.

"Isn't it great?" The excitable one says to his fellow evil dude. They both laugh like they're having a seizure, then the excitable one lashes out and slaps Luke in the face. I cringe and Jace, who seemed to watch on in excitement, whispered, "Ooohh, _buurrnn." _ I glare at him and he has the decency to look away from me with guilt in his eyes.

"I wanna see you change." Excitable guy says, and then slaps Luke again. _Whoa, _I think, _did we walk into the set of a gay porno or something? What hasn't Luke been telling me…. Or my mum? _Although Jace is watching the scene with seriousness now, and I think that that's not quite the case.

Luke hands start to twitch, and I'm curious to see what's happening. Then excitable guy starts dry humping Luke and my earlier thought surfaces once more. This guy must've been dropped when he was a child… on his head… down a flight of stairs. I mentally slap myself for being so mean, then mentally slap myself for mentally slapping myself for being mean to an evil dude.

I finally realise that Jace has been gone for a while, and see that he's dragging a bear trap towards us. _Oh yeah, _I think, _because everyone just happens to keep a bear trap or two lying around these days. _

I snap back to reality to see Luke talking back to excitable guy. "I don't want her back. I've spent _years _cosying up to that woman and her grant for the mortal cup."

Wait, was he talking about my mum. I drop the stele and come out from my hiding spot, knocking a vase over for good measure. "Oh no you did _not _just say that." I said, waving my finger and putting on my best ghetto accent.

"Clary." Luke says, sounding shocked.

Then all hell breaks loose. Jace leaps out from the shadows, closing the bear trap around silent dudes' arm. _That's gotta hurt, _I think. Yet, for some reason, there's no blood.

"Clary, run!" Jace yells.

"Clary, wait!" Luke shouts.

I'm confused for a moment, and I linger. Jace is grabbed from behind by silent dude, and I watch as he gets his ass kicked. _So much for this generations' best shadowhunter… _

I finally gained my senses and bolted, thinking, _screw you, Luke. _I burst out of the shop to see Simon talking to a police officer. I grab his arm and try to run, but the officer grabs my other arm to pull me back. _Geez, I know I'm pretty but yesh… _

Luckily, Jace bursts out of the shop as well, ripping the officer off of me and slashing across his chest with his sword. He then proceeded to race towards the police car, fling open the door and stab the second police officer. The cop seemed to deflate, and I figured that it was a demon… you know, probs like a 50 percent chance or something.

"You killed two cops?" Simon says, exasperated.

"Oh. My. God. Simon, shut up." I scream. "Are you seriously stupid or something?"

"I'm sorry that I don't see weird blonde emos killing police every day!"

"They weren't cops." Jace says calmly.

Simon rolled his eyes. They instantly launched into an argument. I could tell that this was the start of something beautiful.

...

**So...that happened ;) Thanks for reading and as always, I hope it was good enough. REVIEW!**

**...**

**Please :3**


	13. Chapter 13: Java Jones

**Hey guys :D I know (and I'm sorry) that this one is like really late compared to the usual. Life has been pretty hectic lately... but I won't go into details cause, you know, you people are randoms and shouldn't know or be interested in my life :P**

**But I'll try and keep the updating fairly regular. Like, maybe once or twice a week... hopefully. Again, I'm sorry.**

**But anyways... Enjoy! :D hopefully **

**...**

Simon and I sat together in Java Jones, our favourite coffee shop, but the mood today wasn't casual at all. I was freaking out.

I babbled on about this weird thing that was happening to me. I pulled drawing after drawing of some sort of symbol out of my bag, shoving each one into Simon's face. "See? And this one is blue… oh! And this one I drew rather well, compared to my other lopsided ones… and this one is red. Isn't it great?" C'mon, a girl has to have variety while losing her mind.

Simon shrugged, "Maybe you're like that guy on person of interest."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. That's _fiction _Simon. That means _not real. _On the other hand, my situation is totally believable. I'm telling you, I saw these three kids kill something in the club. They had tattoos and the guy they killed like disappeared. It was trippy." _Yep, my story is way more believable. _

Simon shrugged and started talking about something else, but I wasn't paying attention. Because just outside the window of my little coffee shop, was _him. _He stood, pressed up to the glass, seemingly glaring creepily at me. But it wasn't creepy because he was hot. Only attractive people can get away with being creeps.

Our eyes locked and I slowly sunk into my seat… and Simon… trying to hide or something, even though he already saw me. "Oh, um." Simon at me. I was practically lying across his lap now. He might have even thought I was displaying some sort of random gesture of fondness to him. _Pfft, as if._ I was obviously romantically locking eyes with the killer boy again. Hey, it can't be helped. It's not the killers' (or my) fault that he's sexy.

I spare Simon a glance, but return my eyes back to the sexy killer straight away. But alas, he had disappeared. I sit up a bit, a little relieved and a little annoyed. I sigh and let my eyes drag away from the window… only to see him practically right in front of me. To say the least, it scared me out of my skin.

I jumped back into Simon, causing him to sit up in alarm. "What is it?"

The sexy killer was looking at me again. Maybe I should have been scared, considering that he was…well, from what I saw… a killer. But I did what any girl would have and got up, muttering that I would be back soon to Simon. My girl instincts told me I needed to follow the sexy killer into the abandoned ally. _So this is how teenage girls get kidnapped, _I thought dismissively, _oh well, it will be worth it._

...

**Don't worry your heads guys, I WILL be doing the scene straight after this one where Clary and Jace first talk to each other :3 Just in a different chapter. I suppose I'm just trying to drag this one out a bit cause I enjoy writing about it and I'm quickly running out of ideas D:**

**So as usual hope it was ok and pretty please with a cherry... or Jace if you like... on top review, favorite or follow :D It would make me happy and maybe I'll write faster... you never know**


	14. Chapter 14: Clary and Jace's first convo

**Hey guys :D 50 Reviews! Yay! On my first TMI fanfic and my second fanfic ever! THANK YOU GUYS! IT MEANS ALOT TO ME! DON'T TELL ME THAT 50 ISN'T ALOT EITHER OR I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. Jokes, I'm not that creepy :P or am I? You'll never know**

**Hey look! It's a relatively early update! See? This is what happens when you guys review ;) **

**But in serious, maybe I should make a certain day or two to update...hmm... anyways here it is so don't complain ;) not that you guys complain... like, at all. Seriously, could I have asked for any nicer reviews? You guys are great :)**

**So this is my continuation of the last chapter. As always, hope its all good and ENJOY! :DD**

**...**

"Why can I see you when no one else can?" I demand the sexy killer as I step out into the alley way.

"Because I'm a ninja." He replied smoothly.

I gave him a blank look. Surely he was lying, but he had said it so smoothly and naturally that I couldn't be sure whether or not he had actually just told me the truth. "Really?" I said after a long, confused pause.

He scoffed, "No of course not. Don't be ridiculous, ninja's aren't real. I can't believe you fell for that."

He smirked, I glared, and he cowered. _Don't mess with a confused ginger, _I though venomously.

He cleared his throat and continued, "You're not a mundane, Clary."

_How the hell did he know my name? _"What's a mundane?"

He smirked before answering, "They're these annoying little pests that think they're all high and mighty, little do they know that we're trying to save their insignificant asses twenty-four-seven, and still manage to annoyingly get in the way. Aka, humans."

I narrowed my eyes at his sarcasm. How rude. Well, at least he thought I wasn't one. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you. You're a bastard. An arrogant and sarcastic bastard."

"I seem to get told that a lot."

"And you're a killer."

"The term is slayer."

I glared at him in exasperation. Here I was, trying to be all dramatic and stuff, and he was ruining it with his stupid sarcasm. Argh.

Something on his wrist caught my eye and I grabbed him, holding the flesh of his under arm upwards, showing off a black tattoo. It looked strangely like the things I had been drawing, but neater. _I thought I was supposed to be the artist, _I thought sadly. I let go of him and pulled one of my pictures of the same symbol out of my pocket, where I conveniently put it earlier in case of a situation just like this, where I talked to a sexy killer who had tattoos of my drawing.

"Why do I keep drawing this really badly?" I demanded, shoving the piece of paper in his face, "What am I doing wrong?"

He snatched the piece of paper out of my hands and examined it. "Well first of all, you've rushed this way too much. And your technique is a tad bit off and…" he cut off, "Wait," he started a new sentence, "Shouldn't you be asking why you're drawing it in the first place?"

I sighed, "Fine then, party pooper. _Why am I drawing this?"_

"You're not a mundane." He said gravely.

"You're already said that." I said, bored.

"Well I'm just repeating it so it sinks into your mundane brain." He said defensively.

"I thought you said I wasn't a mundane."

He deadpanned at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but then my phone started ringing. It was set on that super annoying ringtone that always made it seem like a killer was going to sneak up on you and kill when it started ringing, too. Thus, I immediately went to hang up out of embarrassment. Annnd… it rang again.

"You should answer that. It could be your boyfriend." Sexy killer said.

My cheeks flamed red. "He's not my boyfriend!" I said a little bit too defensively.

"You only say that because you think I'm sexy." He smirked, and made my cheeks burn even brighter, if that was possible.

"Not true!" _Oh my God, it's so true._

My phone rang again. "Please," Sexy killer said exasperatedly, "It's annoying."

_Ugh, sarcastic and rude. How much trouble can one person be? Arrogant blonde Goth by day, sexy killer at night._

_..._

**So a tiny bit of news for my few followers (If you aren't one of those click the follow button already! Yesh. You know I'm kidding, I love all of you)! So my creative juices have been flowing and I have another (hopefully) hilarious series in development for TMI. This time, not based off of the movie and a tad bit more serious, so better quality writing... maybe. No promises.**

**But anyways, I was thinking of getting that up in a few weeks, but if that becomes my new focus series, I might wrap this one up. So is that a good idea peoples? I promise that it will be as funny as this one! Hopefully :)**

**So REVIEW! Or follow or fav or just PM me telling me its great :D or crap... but then I'll have choice words for you :P but constructive criticism and opinions or things you would like me to write about are welcome!**

**God these authors notes are long... and I'm making them longer... I'm just gunna stop writing now... see ya next time ;D**


	15. Chapter 15: Clary's dash of Epicness

**(Skip to the actual chapter if you don't want to read me ranting guys ;D)**

**To the random guest who posted that you didn't like this story: I'm sorry that you were disappointed in my story and I'm flattered that you took time out of your precious life to leave your review telling me so. I've said up and down that I'm open to opinions so THANK YOU! I can't fix things if you guys don't tell me ;) I guess I would just like to say that if you had reviewed that back when I first started writing this, then I would have lost all my confidence, curled into a ball and (maybe) cried, even if your comment wasn't even particularly spiteful. But now, after I've had people saying that it's making them laugh, even if it's a few people, I don't want to stop. My goal in life is to make people happy. The fact that I made those few people smile, makes me over-the-moon happy, and I'm going to keep on doing that.**

**I can see what you mean, but this is meant to be a parody, not a mockery. And if you don't like it, just don't read it. Now your last comment. Don't be as heartless and down right two-year-oldish about things. You guess TMI is just a joke? It's not. But... THIS FANFIC IS A JOKE! Not the actual TMI, just my little fanfic. A joke. That's the whole point of it. To make people laugh. Fan fictions, believe it or not, can be funny. Yes, funny as in joke. Ha. Haha. Ha. Get it?**

**Whoa, sorry... had a mini seizure there. Guess I'm overreacting. But I will try and improve and I'm sorry you think that and I am a true fan of the books, just not the movie. TMI isn't a joke, even if you were saying that sarcastically to insult my writing.**

**Sorry about my little rant there... ENJOY this chapter guys :) **

...

"Mum, I'm coming home." I said into the phone, after answering it at creepy killer's request.

"No, no, no," Came my mothers' voice from the other end of the line, small and afraid, "You do not come home."

"Mum?" I said, fear creeping into my stomach.

"Go straight to Luke and tell him that Valentine is back and after the cup." My mums' voice was panicked now.

"Mum? Who's Valentine? O.M.G! Are you having an affair?"

You could almost hear my mum roll her eyes. "No Clary! Take this seriously, would you? My life is in danger right now… and Luke and I aren't even together! So it wouldn't be an affair."

"You keep telling yourself that, mum."

"Clary!" She shouted, now angry, "Quit being a dipshit!"

I was taken aback by my mothers' harsh words. "O-okay. I'm sorry."

There was silence on the other end of the line. "Mum?" I looked at the sexy killer, who was listening to me with amusement. "Mum?" I asked more persistently.

There was no response. My heart sped up. Did something happen? Was my mum in danger? She should have told me!

I hurriedly hung up and shoved my phone in my pocket and took off down the street, running as fast as I could to get home. I rounded a corner and immediately crashed into someone on a bike. I heard laughter from the sexy killer, who must have been running after me, and a teenager across the street yelled out, "Ha! Ga-ayy!" _How does that even relate to this situation? _I thought dryly, _Freaking teenagers these days. _

"Are you ok?" I asked the bike dude, clambering to my feet. Because, you know, you always ask the dude who just ran you down if _they're _ok. It's basic logic.

He nodded. "Geez, watch where you run spastic."

_Um, rude much? _I kept on running, not heeding his ever so helpful and kind advice at all and dashing out in front of a few cars. An angry driver leaned out their window and yelled, "Can't you see that this is a road, kid? Can't you see that we're driving here?"

I stopped and cocked my hip. "Um, can you not see that I'm _running _here? People these days." I mumbled the last part under my breath and set off again.

At last, I reached my house. I stopped, leaned my hands on my knees and took a moment to try and catch my breath. _Well, that's the last time I ever do anything close to exercise. _

Putting on my brave face, I jogged up to our apartment, located on the second floor. I saw the door, hanging from one bolt, and immediately thought that maybe I should have listened to my mum and just stayed with the sexy killer. As annoying as his company was, I wasn't prepared for a fight.

_Maybe I should call the police…? _I thought, _Pfft, that's too mainstream. _And so I straightened my shoulders and entered the apartment to see… a dog? I pull together all of my strength and resolve to stop myself from squealing and running over to hug the dog. What? I think dogs are cute… deal with it. But, I manage to stop myself and think, _whoa, wait, why is there a dog in my house? Last time I checked, we didn't own a dog._

_..._

**Yes, I just copied and pasted the last bit from the demon dog chapter, so it kinda follows on... I dunno :P But as always, please review, fav, or follow for me cause you love me ;P**

******And... um, this may or may not be my last chapter for this fan fic D: But don't fret! I'm writing that new one I was talking about! I'm liking it so far actually :) So keep an eye out for it: The boredom games is the name. **


	16. Author's note

Hello friends!

No, this isn't another chapter, I'm very sorry to disappoint you :( But I'm writing the few fans of this story. I won't be continuing this from now on as a regular thing (insert sad face :() BUT! If I ever find myself with a stroke of genius comedy, then I will be writing it down and putting it in this story. Well, of course I mean for another scene from the movie. I'm sorry guys, but I've run out of creative juices for this story.

I wanted to say thank you to all you amazing people who took time out of their schedule to read and even go as far as review or follow or (gasp! God forbid) favorite it. You guys are awesome and without you I would have wasted away in my room with my confidence levels sitting at about negative 10000. As you might know, it makes me so happy that I'm able to make even one or two people happy and even laugh, so your kind words made be unbelievably over-the-moon. It may not be that big of a deal, but its my second fan fiction and the reviews just made me drunk on joy.

On another note... keep a look out for my new TMI story (going to be titled 'The Boredom Games') which I will hopefully get around to publishing some time this week :)

And I see you (yes I mean you, mean critics) jumping in joy from this note ;) (puts on ghetto accent) Don't make me come over there and kick your ass

Thanks guys and farewell for now :)


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